I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Randomize
