He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
