its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
