i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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