I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
