ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Randomize
