some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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