i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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