Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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