I never want to see another naked old woman again.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
