I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
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