How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
