thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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