i don't like sucking hair
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
