Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
