When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
