do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
