just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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