**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
