Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Randomize
