Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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