All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Randomize
