I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
