Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
someone owes me an orgasm
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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