I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Randomize
