Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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