I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
