i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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