marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
