The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
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