He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
