Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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