I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
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