If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
