Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
I don't think brook has ever known best
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
