Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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