why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
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