im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
then he tried to convert me to islam
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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