There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Randomize
