So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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