She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
