All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
