i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
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