he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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