Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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