I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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