just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
