Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Randomize
