the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
