I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
